It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel so strongly about something that it physically hurts when you consider not having it. It's okay to experience crushing disappointment when things don't work out the way you imagined. It's okay to be unsure. Sometimes, you think you have all the answers, and that everyone else in the world should live according to the blueprint you've made up in your mind. It's your life. You should decide how it's executed, right? Even if that involves the thoughts/feelings/emotions of others. They should work around you. They should know that they're side characters in your story. The plot needs to be carried out how you want it carried out. You deserve that much. You're in control, aren't you?
Let me tell you something, love. You're not the author of your story. And the people around you aren't secondary players.
The truth is, you're not in control. You don't get to decide how your life works out. You don't get to decide if your career prospers the way you want it to, or if you'll end up with the person you want to be with, or if you'll get to ride off into the sunset on a white horse. The funny thing about plot is, it wouldn't exist without conflict. In order to grow, to reach a resolution, you have to collide with something. Death. Heartbreak. Loss. Whatever it is, it's what's going to make your story gutting and important and remarkable.
Your author isn't going to write you a shitty story. He's going to put you through the ringer. Ups and downs, highs and lows. And let me tell you something; just because you can't see the ending, doesn't mean you won't get a happy one. It's bullshit to think that something doesn't exist just because you can't see it. You can't see half the blessings, half the victories, half the love and adventure and happiness you'll experience in years to come. That doesn't mean it isn't there. It just means that, when the time comes, life will pleasantly surprise you.
Don't settle for something beneath you out of convenience. Don't hold onto people that don't deserve your love. Don't lose faith in the future.
Your author is writing you a really kickass story. Don't make it a tragedy.